By Kristin Cobble
Imagine you’re a basketball coach trying to coach a team, particularly the captain, without actually seeing them play a live game. Imagine not even being able to watch a video of the game afterwards. You have no idea how anyone played, how they passed, guarded, set up points, or scored. You only know what the captain tells you after the game about how he thinks the game went and what he believes the team needs to improve.
Sound challenging? Well, that’s exactly how coaching CEOs usually works. The primary way coaches learn how the team plays is through conversations, aka meetings, with the CEO after the game. We may have access to additional data, like individual and team assessments and business results, but we rarely get to observe the CEO and team working together. We can’t see their body language, hear their tone of voice, or observe how they interact in real time. And yet, we’re entrusted to provide guidance.
Most people think of leadership coaching as a one-on-one equation. Leader + coach = game-changing success. But over the twenty years I’ve been coaching, if I don’t get a courtside view, my work is constrained. Though I can make educated guesses about the kind of coaching a leader needs, nothing replaces observing the CEO and team in action in leadership team meetings. In fact, it’s the fastest way to accelerate the development of both the leader and their leadership team.
One CEO I’ll call Drew had to inform his managers about the need for layoffs. Because he expected them to get upset, he was understandably nervous about the meeting. So, we came up with a plan: After opening the meeting and setting the context, he would ask two questions:
- What’s your biggest question about the organizational re-redesign?
- What do you believe this group really needs to talk about today?
These questions invited the managers to consider the needs of the organization as a whole and become thinking partners with Drew. The team’s responses shocked him. One person stated, “I want to know why we’re not laying off more people.” Another asked, “Why didn’t we do this a year ago?”
Not only did these questions empower the team, they also brought out the team’s leadership and broke them out of a cycle of Drew making most of the decisions and the team making him wrong when they didn’t like them.
While Drew felt good about the meeting, he didn’t recognize its real impact until we reflected on it in our coaching session afterwards. When I pointed out how the check-in questions and the co-creation of the agenda dramatically shifted their power dynamics, Drew had a huge “AHA!” He realized how his struggles to get the group to talk in meetings were a direct result of his tendency to do most of the talking and plan the agendas on his own. Up to that point, he hadn’t seen how his “plays,” which made sense from his vantage point, were unintentionally getting in the way of the team’s success.
The most critical hour in any leader’s week is their weekly team meeting. In this single hour, a leader can make or break the game by either supporting or stifling the key players and the team’s overall impact. Though meetings with investors, board members, partners and clients are important, the weekly team meeting is the one consistent opportunity for the leader to activate the leadership of the whole team, not just of the individuals.
Admitting a coach into team meetings can feel very risky. But without having their coach present courtside, the leader may never get invaluable information and feedback.
For example, as CEO, you may believe your conversations are open and candid. But unless your coach sees you in action, they may never know the specific ways you unintentionally squelch dissent.
Perhaps you unconsciously pack the agenda, leaving no time for discussion. Or maybe you save the hardest topics for last, so there’s no time to explore and resolve them. After proposing an idea, do you ask leading questions that shut down conversation, like “Does everyone agree this is a good idea?” When someone says something you don’t like, might you unknowingly reveal your disappointment with a crinkled brow or a scowl that inhibits their contribution?
Or, perhaps your challenge is to focus your team. Do you let the team talk about issues ad nauseam and never land a decision? Do you, yourself, feel drawn to extend the decision-making process beyond what your team believes might be needed?
Both shutting down dialogue with your team prematurely and extending it for too long can cost you the game.
If allowed into your inner circle, a coach can help you see your behavior and its impact more clearly by reflecting what you actually say and do with your team. The coach can also help you surface the beliefs and assumptions that may prevent you from having the kinds of candid conversations that create the highest impact on the team’s performance.
Together, you and your coach can explore the deeper causes for your team dynamics in ways that support your development. One of the coach’s primary tools are provocative questions like:
- What did you notice in the room when you said __? What were you hoping would happen? What else might you have tried to get that result?
- What do you really believe about the group’s competence? Do you believe your team can improve on your ideas or generate even better ones?
- How comfortable are you being challenged or contradicted in front of others? What’s the hardest thing for you about this?
By surfacing previously unseen attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors, these questions can lead to powerful developmental opportunities for both you and the team.
Turbocharging your leadership takes a sincere commitment to maximizing the potential of every member of the team to both individually and collectively achieve the organization’s goals. It takes courage to face how you are either encouraging members to build on each other’s thinking or tearing down their ideas. And it takes humility to invite their leadership instead of always needing to be the smartest person in the room.
Having these intentions is a good start. By attending team meetings, your coach can identify the gaps between your behavior and your intentions and point you to practices and insights that will close those gaps.
Even a virtuoso point guard can’t win a season by himself. The goal is for you and your team to be smarter together than you are on your own. Like in basketball, it takes practice and a lot of post-game analysis to learn more effective plays. And, like in any sport, a team can only achieve top level performance when a good coach witnesses them in action. Let your coach step into your office and your meetings to help you and your leadership team find your collective A game.
Kristin Cobble, founder of Groupaya, has been coaching and consulting with leaders and their leadership teams for over twenty years.
Copyright © 2021 Kristin Cobble and Groupaya, Inc.